Decision Making Season

There's something really nice about going into work at 11:30 in the morning. And there's something really crappy about staying until 8:00 at night. At least the good part is right now, at quarter to nine, the time I normally begin my drive. I'm in my pajamas drinking coffee. I'm thinking about having scrambled eggs and toast with jam.

I've been preoccuppied lately. We're entering Decision Making Season. With that comes much excitement and angst.

Some decisions completely belong to Tom, like what kind of doctor he wants to be.

But most belong to both of us. We have to start thinking about where we want to live for at least four years. Do we want to live somewhere big and exciting, like New York? Or do we want to live somewhere where we can have a house and put down roots?

I'm ready for roots.

I tried hard not to think of living in North Carolina as temporary. At the end of this, eight years will have passed and that is way more than temporary. I really didn't want to think of this time as "waiting". I think I succeeded, for the most part. Life moved on. We've made friends. We got married. We worked and made a life.

Still, I think I've been holding back.

To be perfectly honest, I think I'm ready to be near my family. I think I'm ready to start a family and I can't see that happening anywhere other than near my mom, near my sister.

So, as I read emails from my best friend telling me she's stuffing blankets under doors and balled newspaper near windows to keep out the cold, I think, that doesn't sound too bad. Alright, it sounds horrendous.

But I want it anyway.